


Chances Of Success

by ScoreCounter



Category: Persona 4
Genre: M/M, Music, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7030141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScoreCounter/pseuds/ScoreCounter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yosuke had always seen those motivational posters around. But it was only now that he kind of understood what they meant, now that he was dating Souji.<br/>Or, 11 stages of Yosuke and Souji's relationship, measured by Yosuke's confidence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 0%: I won't (because who can love me?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke considers why everything feels like it's slipping through his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARGH! Okay, this annoys me so much. It's nowhere near perfect, but I don't think this chapter will ever be. I had the idea, I loved it, but I have no idea how to start it! So, please read and try to enjoy it, and as usual with me, Kudos welcome, and comments even more so (even though you're awesome either way!)  
> Lyrics from Extreme Ways by Moby  
> (Probably better known as "That song from the Bourne films" or That song from "The Genius" (Awesome South Korean game show, it's been subbed, go watch))

The sky was clear this night. No fog or clouds to cover it, and the stars beamed down brightly - one of the few advantages to living in a rural town, Yosuke thought. The entire package wasn't really for him, he found, but lying there, headphones on, gazing at the sky on one of the few nights he was allowed out - much more now that he was living in a place with a fair crime rate - was one of the scant and few things he enjoyed about this place, sudden friendships caused by supernatural murders aside.

The music being beamed into his ears was on a random shuffle - he did as he always did - skipped past anything he didn't want right now. At the moment it was a calm instrumental, by no means classical, but far from what he usually listened to. His mind was open - not filled with noise or lyrics, but truly open, open for the thoughts to come in, for the voices that everyone has within them, not their shadow, but their subconsious, their active subconsious to start whispering, whispering the words he needs to hear, but screams against them.

He closes his eyes. Pictures of the rest of the team form in his head - of Kanji and Yukiko and all the rest, and he exhales. He doesn't want to feel like the fifth wheel, he truly doesn't. But he knows, and his inner voice knows that this has got nothing to do with them, and everything to do with HIM. His snide remarks, his sarcasm, his only reprieve being Souji, and that was fast slipping away from him, his partner giving him awkward looks and slight avoidance. And he know why, he's always known why, and the voice has always known why, and it's because of then.  
That night.

His thoughts became so tangled, and so confused, and he shut down, reverted, inverted again, saying the first thing that came to his mind and pushing away and forcing everything away from him because that's what he wanted to do, he wanted to admit revulsion, because surely that was more natural and socially acceptable than... than...  
Confusion. Discomfort. Requirement.

_Extreme ways are back again,  
Extreme places I didn't know..._

Yosuke almost skipped the track, but something, stopped him, the voice whispering, _listen..._

 _I broke everything new again,_  
Everything that I'd owned,  
I threw it out the windows, came along,  
Extreme ways I know move apart the colours of my sea  
Perfect colour me...

He listened, and thought, and the images came fast and clear of that night, the expressions and the disgust and the awkward air in the tent, suffocating, suffocating...  
They built him up and then he knocked him down, knocked himself down, because reasons...?  
None. Exactly.  
Poof.

 _Extreme ways they help me, they help me out late at night_ (When the nights are cold and the thoughts he wants to keep away creep in)  
_Extreme places I had gone, But never seen any light_ (Because he had seen things, such things that tought him that to not be normal was wrong, and it wouldn't go unpunished by SOMEONE)  
_Dirty basements, dirty noise, dirty places coming through_ (And he felt hopeless, because what he wanted was so different to that, he wanted frienship in a world of sparse assosiation)  
_Extreme worlds alone,_

_Did you ever like it then?_

_Oh I would stand in line for this_ (People would stand there and laugh, surely, laugh harder at the fallen son, because he was not normal)  
_There's always room in life for this..._ (And he would never see it, never enjoy life because he couldn't and wouldn't and won't...)

 _Oh baby, Oh baby, then it fell apart, fell apart,_ (And his life flees before him because he can't keep it together, can't decide between who he is and who he must be)  
_Oh baby, oh baby, then it fell apart, fell apart,_ (And what he has and what he wants he loses because he pushes it away out of fear)  
_Oh baby, oh baby, then it fell apart, fell apart,_ (And his pulse quickens because what is he really, in the end of the day, when all is said and done)  
_Oh baby, oh baby, like it always does, always does..._ (And his pulse slows because he needs this like water, but he feels like he's drowning)

 _Extreme songs that told me, they helped me down every night_ (Because dreams are the only place love can be found)  
_I didn't have much to say, I didn't get above the light_ (He was just another man, nothing special nothing worthy until he was)  
_I closed my eyes I closed myself I closed my world I never opened up to anything, that could get me along..._  
(And his eyes opened again, and his breathing hastened as realisations flooded him, a sickening realisation that he had betrayed everyone, betrayed himself, and his true feelings, and...)  
_I had to close down everything, I had to close down my mind_ (A mindless puppet is what was left, an automaton, doing what was natural, and he had to break out, break away, what was playing that music what was playing that music what was playing that music)

The headphones were torn away, he couldn't listen and he wouldn't listen because that wasn't him, not anymore...

Or, it wasn't him anymore...

He looked at the stars again, observed them, looked upon their natural beauty, and marveled slightly, the thoughts and the voices still churning in his head...

It had fell apart. There were no two ways about it.  
Why did he say those things? Was it because his wounds were still sore? From Saki? From... anyone else? Because... he needed acceptance, and the only way to do that was to ensure it wasn't given to someone else?

The pieces fell into place. Slowly, sure, but... maybe, he was scared of competition.  
A shudder ran down his spine at that. Maybe... he wasn't to different from Kanji after all. Kanji had a need for acceptance that transformed into desperation, manifest as homosexuality. Possibly, anyway. And his need for acceptance manifest as hatred, aloofness, wanting to be the one...  
But, he could never be the one, as broken and damaged and alone as he is. Who could love someone like him? Saki didn't, after all.

He found himself back at home before long, gathering paper and card and all sorts of things from all over the place, gifts from long ago, searching, and eventually he found evrything he needed. He will never get what he wanted, but he wasn't going to lose what he had.

* * *

The next day came, another day exploring the other world, their leader had decreed.  
"Hey... Kanji, can you come over here a sec?"  
"..." Kanji remained silent, but followed him, anyways.  
"You... don't have to say anything... and you certainly don't have to forgive me for any of the bullshit I said... but... here." Yosuke pulled out the box of... something that he had prepared last night, and handed it to him.  
"...This is for me?" Kanji sounded - and looked - incredulous.  
"I... was wrong. I'm not going to make any excuses or anything of the sort. If you want to punch me, go ahead."  
Kanji shook his head furiously. "No, no, I... I wouldn't. I... I'm sorry too."  
Now it was Yosuke's turn to be suprised. "Huh?"  
"I... shouldn't have gotten so pissed about it. It's not the first time someone's said something like that to me... although it's certainly the first time someone's actually apologised about it."  
"I... just felt like I should."  
"No interference from Leader-Senpai?"  
"What?! No, not at all."  
Kanji put the box down. "Yosuke-senpai, do you mind if I do something?"  
"...No?"  
Yosuke immidiately found himself being tacked by Kanji, which almost freaked Yosuke out, until he recognised it as one of those 'Bro-Hug' sort of things he sees on all that European trash he watches. "Er... you're welcome?"  
"You're... a pretty cool guy, senpai. All things considered."  
Yosuke slapped the other's back, half in platonic affection, half in indignation. "All things considered?"  
Kanji shrugged. Yosuke was about to pull back until he felt someone tackle his back.  
"S-S-Souji?!"  
The silver haired boy laughed. "What can I say? I needed to make sure you two weren't injuring eachother."  
"P-Partner! I'm not... I;m not that bad..."  
"Of course you're not." He carefully peeled Kanji off of him, dismissing him with a silent, but cheerful stare. He proceeded to spin Yosuke in his arms so they were facing. "Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"Sorting that out. I... I really respect you for that, you know? I mean, that sort of thing... It's hard to get over."  
"Partner... I'm... I'm not homophobic. Not really."  
"But?"  
"But..." He seperated from Souji. "I'm giving up."  
"On what? The team?"  
Yosuke shook his head. "No, no, no. I'm... too used to trying to be normal... even if it's not what I want to do... you know?"  
Souji laughed, that sweet sound again. "I'm more familiar with the concept than you think. It'll take you awhile... to start accepting yourself. It took me years. But... you'll make it. Together, allright?"  
Yosuke smiled. "Together."


	2. 10% : I can't (not now, not here)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji asks Yosuke out. Yosuke kinda doesn't know how to react.  
> (January, Non-Golden universe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, turns out I need a little more faith in myself. Here's another chapter for you - it's not meant to be angsty, but doubtlessly it will be.  
> Lyrics from "real Emotion" from Final Fantasy X-2. I don't like the game too much - but, c'mon. It's a good track. (It needed MUCH BETTER acoustics, though. The sound is muffled as as hell.) This stage is gonna flip between Present and Future, so keep up :)  
> Oh, and finally, read, like and review?

The sun shone above Inaba, sparkling and jumping off the river bank on the fine sunday (winter) morning. The wind chill was strong, but so was the sun, the heat and cold balancing eachother out. Their hair was ruffling slightly in the wind as they sat by the riverbank, looking out on the river, laughing at the sky, it's clarity, and it's purity.

* * *

_What can I do for you?  
_

* * *

They sat there, together, talking about the team, about their other friends.  
"And have you noticed how much happier Kou's been lately?"  
"What do you want me to say? He's... finally getting over what happened. You know, with his family."  
"...Yeah... I remember you telling me about that."  
"You breathed a word?"  
"Not to a soul."

* * *

_What can I do for you?_ (What am I?)  
_What can I do for you?_ (What am I doing?)  
_What can I do for you?_ (Isn't that what I wanted?)  
_I can't hear you_ (And why am I still thinking about it?)

* * *

"I'm glad. I know I can trust you, Yosuke."  
"I know I can trust you too, partner."  
They sat there, in the wind, under just burning skies, fading to blue. Souji had invited Yosuke down to the riverbank to chill out. Social links meant little, now, and all he had to do was enjoy the burning embers of the year, spending it with the people he liked the most.  
  
"Hey, how's Naoto?"  
"Still shy. She's still not admitting that she likes him directly. But she's starting to get more confident. Kanji?"  
"Getting confortable, actually. Heck, I don't even mind the jokey flirting anymore."

* * *

_Far beyond the crazy borders of my heart,_ (Where I never imagined, never thought, never saw...)  
_I could see a place, that's something like this_ (A place where I could be happy, where I could have peace...)  
_Every now and then I don't know what to do_ (How do I get there, How do I survive?)  
_Still I know that I can never go back_ (Because everythings falling apart)  
(...and it's my fault. Again.)

* * *

Souji looked at Yosuke curiously, the throughts churning in his mind.  
"You... don't mind it?"  
Yosuke sat there, pondering. "Well, I'm not sure I minded it in the first place. I mean, it was like... connection."  
"Connection?"  
"My Shadow was the part of me that I didn't want to accept and no one else wanted to know about... as was Yukiko and Kanji..."  
Souji's eyebrows raised in enlightenment. "So you thought Kanji's Shadow was what was unnacceptable about him."  
"I know. Dumb logic, right?"  
"No, no, it makes sense. What made you change your mind?"  
"...Naoto's Shadow."  
"...Naoto?"  
"It was then I realised that... Shadows, or ours at least... they're almost... cries for help, in a way. They're screams of what we really want, who we really want to be..."  
"What you really want to say?"  
"...Well, yeah."  
"...Well... if Shadows are the things that we really want to say..."

* * *

_But the things I've seen_ (What I want? Or what I need?)  
_In those hazy dreams_ (Who I am? Who I'm not?)  
_Can't compare to what I'm seeing now_ (What I hate? Or not hate?)  
_Everything's so different_ (My life has changed, my soul has changed)  
_That it brings me to my knees_ (My legs feel like dead weight, and I... and I...)

* * *

"Partner?" Yosuke turned to face him.  
"I... I have something I've been meaning to say for a while now."  
They both shifted unconfortably.  
"..."  
"Well, the... er... the thing is... ah... will you go out with me?"

>>>Unhandled Exception at line 86 in function Reaction:  
>>>No response set for  query "Will you go out with me"  
>>>During the handling of the above exception, another exeption occoured:  
>>>Unhandled Exception at line 42 in main:  
>>>Function Homophobic Freakout not declared  
>>>During the exception above, another exception occoured:  
>>>...  
>>>...  
>>>...

* * *

_And though I know_ (Becuase it feels so real, the air, the voice)  
_The world of real Emotion has surrounded me_ (What will they think?)  
_I won't give in to it_ (I want to but I can't) __  
_Now I know that forward is the only way my heart can go_ (There's no way back, but no way forward)  
_I hear your voice reaching out to me_ (Reach harder, partner...)  
_You'll never be alone_  


* * *

Souji's voice entered the white noise of his feelings, not quite breaking through, Yosuke feeling the breaths draw in and out of him, in and out in and out in and out  
The energy building, building, not exploding because he can't let it out but he has to, wants to, he's buring with it...  
(What can I do for you?)  
He hears Souji's apologies, sees his hurt smile, but feels trapped, can't escape, can't do anything but offer a friendly smile, and he's breaking, he can hear Souji asking if they're still friends, and he nods even though they're more except they're not-  
(What can I do for you?)  
He wants to shout, he wants to scream, hearing the voices shout over and around eachother- "yes""no""yes""no""yes""no""yes"  
(What can I do for you?)  
And he shouts, "I love you!"  
And no-one hears.  
(I can't hear you...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, HEAVY poetic licence on the computer code joke. I actually do know 3 programming languages (well - I know 1 really well and can write small functions in the other 2), I just wanted to make the joke accessible.


	3. 20%: I don't know how (because I never have)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke's really regretting the meltdown he had on the riverbank. He reaches out to his friends for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, peoples I is so sorry. I've just been so busy recently and I've really wanted to carry this on but the last chapter was lackluster and... *reboots*  
> Okay, seriously, sorry for the delay. All appreciation is muchle apprieciated and gratified and... I'm rambling. Okay. Sorry.  
> (Also, this is me unintentionally projecting my problems on Yosuke a bit. Yay for worthiness issues!)

It was raining, gently, not so much as to seem depressing, so much as it was refreshing...

Well, it should have been refreshing, anyway. Then again, Yosuke's emotions had been all over the place, really.   
Okay, breathe in, breathe out. What could he remember again?  
-Souji had confessed to him on the riverbank.  
-He realised he would usually have a bit of a homophobic freakout.  
-He then realised that Souji was his best friend and dating him... he was kinda alright with that, honestly.  
\--(Well, let's be honest, if his shadow weren't so... lacivious, he probably wouldn't have been... well, scared of Kanji, honestly.)  
-Therefore, he failed to freak out as he usually did, thinking about what it would be like to... well, date a boy.  
-However, because he had been taught that was wrong, he... couldn't, and his mind kinda... shut down.  
-Hence, it still looked like he had freaked out.

"Shit..." Yosuke wiped the first remanants of raindrops of his brow, sitting in one of the unsheltered seats at Junes, his work hours long since gone. (Well... 30 minutes gone, but it felt like longer.) Souji was busy this afternoon - thank heavens for that odd little blessing - then again, it wasn't like Yosuke wanted to **avoid him** (then again, it did seem like he was being avoided, but... well, that might be the best for now.)

So, in such a case, what was the plan of action? He had to do something about this not-quite-tension-but-certainly-bordering-on-it- _ohmygodI'mtotallygonnalosemybestfriendbecauseI'maclosetedwimpofallreasons..._ It wasn't that he didn't want a relationship with Souji, per se - quite the opposite, in matter of fact - but, well second question... 'what's stopping you'? Well, did you want the whole list, or just the top ten? Tell ya what, I'll tell you number 0 - He sure as hell didn't deserve it (well, he did really, but try telling that to a teenager. Any teenager.). I think we can all agree on that. Well, the fact that he thought that at the very least, and one's own voice is a very good convincer. His headphones, his trademark, sat at home, the skin on his neck free and exposed, for once.

"...Senpai?" Kanji. Of course.  
"...Oh... Er, hey dude." Yosuke muttered almost, distracted by his own thoughts.   
Kanji gave him a look, but said nothing. He was carrying a bag of basic supplies - food and the like - looking suprisingly normal for someone that some would have called a delinquent a few weeks back. Something told him to have a seat, but... well,   
He knew Yosuke was a... complicated person. Give him time to stew in his own juices and he can do whatever he can - ask him to do it? You'd have better luck convincing the mountain to climb him. Just as he was walking off, towards the stairwell (elevator out of service - typical), he heard a quiet voice behind him.  
"...How did you know?" Yosuke was looking up at him, a stern, confused and exposed emotion on his face.  
"...W-What?" Kanji looked over his shoulder at the young boy, who stood, shoulders hunched, and walked over towards him.  
"How did you know... ugh, never mind."  
"...If you want to say something, say it."  
Yosuke bit his lip, and then walked past Kanji a few paces, before stopping, looking back at him. "You're heading for your mom's store, right?"  
Kanji quickly fell into step beside him, a look of slight confusion on his face.

  
"Y-You heard that Souji... er... confessed to me, right?"  
"Yeah. So?" Yosuke looked down at his feet as they walked, and Kanji's eyebrows rose in realisation. "Oh... I..."  
"I... just remember your shadow. How... confident it was about itself, about what it wanted. And... well, sure, it was scary in a way..."  
"Yeah, yeah, so you decided to be a bit of an asshole about it for... er..."  
"A few weeks."Quiet. "Probably more than that." Quieter still.  
"Yeah, sure... but... what has this got to do with Souji-senpai?"  
Yosuke wiped his eyes with forefinger and thumb, and then exhaled in a huff. "Okay, what would you do if you got full marks in a midterm and some of your answers were clearly wrong?"  
Kanji thought for a second. "Well, honestly, I'd just hope no-one'd notice, but you'd have to hand it back and have it be remarked eventually I guess?"  
Yosuke nodded. "How the hell am I supposed to do that with a confession, though?"  
Kanji stopped, forcing Yosuke to pause again. "...Listen, I have no idea what the hell he sees in you, but he's not someone who just confesses for no reason. He likes you."  
"That's what I mean, though. How do you know that... well..."  
"..." Kanji was getting a little annoyed.  
"Well, that... you deserve someone."

  
Kanji pondered a moment (as much as he could ponder anyway) then laughed. "Yosuke, I said I have no idea what he sees in you, but... well, he could... do worse?"  
Yosuke scoffed. "Thanks, I guess."  
"Hey. I mean it. I mean... It's like..." A pause. "Well, I won't tell if you won't tell... it's like how I feel about... well..."  
"Naoto?"  
A shy nod. "I mean, I don't feel confident enough to ask her, but it's not like I'd say no. I mean, if she asked me, she's obviously decided that I'm good enough."  
"But..."  
"But nothin', senpai."  
"I already fucked it up. Souji thinks that I hate him now."  
"For cryin'.... he's only been busy recently, he's not talked to any of us! And even then, more to you."  
Another scoff. "Yeah, like that makes me feel better."  
"Hey. He wants you, right?"  
A nod.  
"And you want him, yeah?"  
A blush. A splutter. Very small nod.  
"Then what's the problem?"  
"...I just... don't know how to be in a relationship, I guess... I mean, everyone calls me a pervert and a freak and..."  
"and so? Has Souji called you any of those things?  
"He wouldn't call anyone any of those things."  
"...True."  
The two walked in silence for a few seconds, until a familiar voice resounded behind them.  
" _Audentem Forsque Venesque Iuvat._ "  
"Yukiko?" Yosuke was shocked, but the expression was muted by the whirlpool in his stomach.  
"You were listening?"  
"A little." A zipping motion across her mouth. "It means 'both love and luck favor the bold.' I remember reading it in a book once."  
"D-Dude... the only bit of latin that I can remember is ...'Hors certa, Hora incerta.'?" The pronunciation was mangled.  
"Well, that's depressing." Yukiko walked up beside them as they continued.  
"Some wiseass trying to get one up on me." A shrug. "Didn't try for long."  
"Anyway, you understand, right, Yosuke? You need to tell him. 'Man up', as Chie would probably put it."  
"More masculine than the lot of us..." A slight grunt of complaint from Kanji as he prepared for a comment, but he soon withdrew.   
Before Yosuke could react, Yukiko swiped Yosuke's phone from his pocket. "Hey! Give that back."  
Yukiko typed furiously for a few seconds, Yosuke too emotionally exhausted to wrestle. "There."  
Yosuke looked down at the screen, a text sent to Souji.  
"Hey, can we talk? The floodbank at 5-ish?" Yosuke turned, fuming. "Yukiko..."  
"You weren't going to do it."  
The phone dissapeared back into his pocket, as Yosuke increased his pace to head home. But before he did, he turned his head to the pair behind him.

"Thanks."


	4. 30%: I Wish I Could (but isn't such a thing only for dreams?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke really shouldn't listen to video game covers before he goes to bed. It gives him all sorts of odd dreams.  
> Not that he's complaining.  
> (Lyrics self written.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As xkcd would put it: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> Anyone who is reading this, and was reading this in the last eon since I updated this, thank you so much. I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to write, or just haven't been motivated to. Every time I came back to re-read it, and saw how many were waiting for it to continue, I really wanted to get back to it - but I just couldn't gather the motivation, I guess. So this is my Huuuuuge apology not to everyone, and hope you enjoy 30%. And, as always, follows, bookmarks, kudos, comments, anything is really appreciated, more than you know.

It wasn't as if Yosuke wasn't able to see what was around him as much as what was around him wasn't around him. if that senseless sense making senselessness makes sense. Perhaps that's why it's so hard to distinguish dream from reality, Yosuke absently wondered, if one can wonder in a dream. It's hard to tell. A stage. He could make that out. A white stage at that. White walls too. Well, white... back. Chairs. White. He was sitting down. Better make sure he keeps it clean - ah, fuck it, he's already probably broken the damn thing.

Ah, here comes Souji.

Hang on, what the hell is Souji doing here? He tries to shout, but he finds his voice muffled, as if he's drowning, but not suffocating, like he's breathing water, breathing breathable water, wait that's not what breathable means, actually it is, hang on, wait, Souji.

Souji's on the stage. He thinks. He can't really tell. And is that a violin? He thinks that's a violin. Or a viola. Or a Bass, wait, no, too small.

And the bow hits the strings, and suddenly everything seems to clear. Too clear. The sound is perfect, unblemished - a faint thought as to how much he thought such a well made instrument would cost. The sound was so clear, it's player swaying ever so imperceptibly, the edge of perception, twisting gently on the dials, a precision that Yosuke knows no man could ever tune so finely with his ears alone, but he loves the thought. He moves gently over the instrument, from every angle, every position, staring solidly, solidly, at Yosuke.

It's almost as if he can see right into Souji's eyes, sees every facet of the retina, every eruption of silver, every dip, every fleck of brown, blue, red, green, brilliant pigments that can't possibly exist and yet they do, even if they really don't, a man can imagine right? And that's all he's allowed, and goddamn (izanagi -damn?) if he's gonna let this go, such a vivid picture of mountainous cracks along the silver-grey, a giant abyss of beautiful pure black heeling up over the center.

It's definitely as if he can see the sweat on his brow - literally, the beads of water holding small clumps of grey-silver (there's a subtle difference between them, he thinks, and should be identified as such). and darkening them to a beautiful rusted colour, small individual strands, shining, clustering together into balls of dark shine, at least in some places. In others, it's just the opposite - a cluster fans out into brilliant flowery arrangement, hair flowers?

He can even see the boy's lips in that much detail, labyrinth in complexity, small lines running and punctuating through it, slightly curved down the center of the lower lip, where his pen had been tapping against it, perhaps. And the colour was just perfect, unbruised and unblemished, but not so much that it was a girlish pink. Just a perfect normal, if you like.

In a single, fluid motion, Souji brought the bow down violently on the strings, dancing them forwards and back, Yosuke recognizing the tune from somewhere he couldn't quite place. He was swaying in time with the beat, which quickly developed into gentle dancing, harsh movements not overstated, meaningful but not abrasive. Faintly, Yosuke could feel a thrumming, a distant rumble, a shift in the air, something changing.

_Let the clouds rise,_  
The thunders roar, _Change to the skies,_  
_And my heart soar..._

The boy was singing in perfect, crystal perfect English, damn him, and the melody matched perfectly, further driving the atmosphere higher and higher.

_Oh I cry,_  
How my soul, __  
How my body slowly dries,  
How my heart grows hard,  
How the darkness fills my eyes...  


_Song of Storms,_  
Now I call,  
Let the rains and thunder's fall,  
Unto this dry cracked earth

Yosuke sat in shock and wonder at the perfect lyrics, almost as if he was literally calling the rain down from the skies, in fact, when did it start raining? And when did Souji start sitting next to him? Souji was still on the stage (stage?) was still playing, and yet he was here, smiling fondly at Yosuke, offering his hand, picking it up when taken, and when, holy shit, when did they start dancing?

The rain was sticking their clothes to their bodies, making them press closely to each other, and attaching them together, and there was something different about his face now that he could take it all in, eyes, hair and lips together, all dampened by the rains that he had somehow summoned, and it seemed as if he was inspecting Yosuke just as intently, and then...

This, was new. He hadn't imagined them kissing before.

It was noiseless, music still blasting in their ears, but the feeling was so warm, so close, like they were both drowning and this kiss was what was keeping them dry, like it was filling the both of them up, like he could feel like Souji wanted and needed this too, like he needed Yosuke as much as Yosuke needed him.

Oxygen. Stop.

Okay, that's enough oxygen.

it felt like they were kissing for hours and no time at all, skin wet yet dry, like he was falling down a long tunnel clinging onto him clinging onto himself, and then...

He leant up, exhaling heavily, red faced. his headphones were off to the side, a light satisfied haze had settled over him, and it was him, alone, in his bed. One would expect him to be upset and disappointed. But - he wasn't. He smiled bitterly, but there was some happiness to it. And he knew he should change out of his pants, but, well...

The last remnants of his dream were still there, he still felt the phantom water running across his body. So what else is a man to do but rest back. As if he lifted up a needle and reset it's position, letting the dream start again. He could allow himself this at least. And if Souji allowed him more, then maybe someday... maybe someday he'll take it.

Then again, that sort of thing only happens to heroes and dreamers.


End file.
